Saturday, January 17, 2015

The Cessation of Being


I am objectionable
As determined by the male of the species
I was not consulted
This decision was made for me.
I protest!
To no avail.
My worth as a woman is null
Once solid, now malleable,
Curves reside where lines are preferred.
Lines where smooth velvet is required
Judgment has been passed,
The verdict is in
Once an oasis is now deemed a desert
I've reached that age
My desire discounted,
And greeted with enmity
To ask is taboo
'What is wrong with you?'
The cruelest of rejections,
To imply a fault in human nature.
I am not to be touched
Except...
Just now and again.
A peck to my lips. 
The slightest brush to my shoulder.
And just once,
An attempt to reach the incandescence 
Of a previous lifetime,
Failed.
Blame placed.
My condition is grave.
There isn't much time left.
 

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Thoughts



Thoughts


I think I'm dying
My mind is barren
I think I'm dying
Yet full to bursting.
I think I'm dying
Confusion churns there.
I think I'm dying
An angry ocean,
I think I'm dying
Incomplete thoughts rage,
I think I'm dying
Crashing down, all around.
I think I'm dying
I never cease to hear
I think I'm dying
A constant cacophony,
I think I'm dying
An ever present echo
I think I'm dying
Of distrust in myself.
I think I'm dying
Immobilized by fear
I think I'm dying
Soul drained by despair
I think I'm dying
I am not enough, ever.
I think I'm dying
What have I done?
I think I'm dying
Nothing.
I think I'm dying
I discount everything,
I think I'm dying
All that comes from me.
I think I'm dying
I cannot believe in me
I think I'm dying
I don't see a way out
I think I'm dying
Why can't I consider me?
I think I'm dying
I taste something 
I think I'm dying
Its bitter, metallic
I think I'm dying
Regret
I think I'm dying
Its objectionable
I think I'm dying
I think...
I'm dying.
No!
I'm living.
I know I'm living.